Sally's Christmas Cake (hic!)

Sally has provided this recipe for Christmas cake. Given how fraught everyone is by this stage, it looks very tempting!

CHRISTMAS CAKE

Ingredients

2 cups flour1 stick butter1 cup of water1 tsp baking soda1 cup of sugar1 tsp salt1 cup of brown sugarLemon juice4 large eggs1 cup of nuts1 bottle of wine2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check the quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still ok. Try anothercup.... Just in case. Turn of the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tine 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and

wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!